In 2019 I decided that I want to be a librarian. So at age 40 (!) I am back in graduate school working on my MLIS degree in pursuit of that goal. I wasn’t planning on dedicating a post to this fact, but I have realized someone out there might be in just the right place to hear these words, so here we are.
Why library school? Why now?
Two perfectly reasonable questions! I’ll do my best to answer them, although the process from point A (before library school was a thought in my brain) to point B (having finished my first semester), while in hindsight seems straightforward, felt much more nebulous and meandering in real time.
The Spark
Even though my first job in high school was as a page in the local public library, even though my stepmom was a reference librarian, even though my favorite part of being a teacher was reading and recommending books, even though I’ve loved books and reading as long as I can remember, it had honestly never occurred to me — not for a second in all my 40 years — to even consider librarianship as a career.
It wasn’t until listening to Anne Bogel’s What Should I Read Next podcast that I realized this was an option for me. I don’t think there was a single episode that sparked this realization (although I remember hearing several librarians on the show) but there was a steadily increasing drumbeat pounding in my bookish heart.
Once the idea occurred to me, it rooted almost instantaneously. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t already followed this path.
At the same time, in what I see now was a bit of serendipity, I was listening to Emily P. Freeman’s podcast The Next Right Thing. Emily’s message of honing in on the next right thing was essential for me. Learning to simply take the next right step forward meant that I did not feel overwhelmed by the process of applying to graduate school. I just kept doing the next right thing, and then the next right thing after that, and pretty soon I was preparing to start grad school in January 2020.
What’s different now?
After a stressful adjustment period (doing APA-style citations isn’t exactly like riding a bike, but the skills do come back), and an even more stressful ending (with my husband and son suddenly home with me full-time as the world shut down because of the pandemic) I finished my first semester with A’s, and one professor will be using my research paper as an example for next semester’s students.
Yay, right? But I know I’m a good student — the problem is I tend to really ramp up the pressure on myself. And at 40, one thing that’s changed is my awareness of the difference between doing well in school, and actually doing the next right thing for my life.
I’m prone to overextending myself when I feel it’s expected of me — but this is something I want to do for myself. I want to savor and reflect and be thoughtful about what I hope to gain from my time in school and what I hope to do with this degree.
So what am I going to do with my MLIS degree?
I think I want to be a youth librarian in a small public library — or even a small branch if it’s in a larger/more urban town like where I live now. But I could also see finding a lot of joy and purpose working on some kind of online diverse books project — if an opportunity for that came up I think I would jump on it. I don’t know what the future holds for libraries (or…anything, obviously), but I’m committed to savoring the journey and learning as much as I can along the way.
